Paula White’s Promises for 2008

I needed a little break from the lunacy in Lakeland and since I haven’t visited Paula Whites website in a few month’s I thought I’d pop on over and see what new scam the princess of the prosperity movement had cooking these days. I saw “8 Promises For You In 08″ and thought you all would be blessed to know all the blessings you will receive in 2008 courtesy of Paula White Ministries!!!

 

Just look what Princess Paula is promising to all who are foolish enough to sow a seed into her ministry;

 

1). This will be a year of new beginnings in your life….

 

2). This will be a year that yokes will be broken off of your life…

 

3). This will be a year of production…

 

4). This will be a year of “coming out”…

 

5). This will be a year of “The Call”…

 

6). This will be a year of salvation…

 

7). This will be a year of intimacy with God…

 

8). This will be a year that we walk in destiny…

 

Wow!

 

These “promises” resemble the type of “promises” you can find in a fortune cookie…I wonder if Paula was eating Chinese when she came up with this list?

 

I like how she placed promise #4 in quotation marks….”coming out” usually refers to those who finally decide to tell the world they have adopted a homosexual lifestyle…maybe Paula is trying to tell us something…..spill the beans eh Paula??!!

 

What is “the call” exactly? A call to ministry? Possibly a call from a long lost friend? The dreaded call from the IRS telling you to come on down for an audit? I really wish she’d be more specific…don’t you?

 

Promise 6 sounds very promising….I wonder if this will be the year Paula experiences salvation…..or maybe some of the silly sheeple will stop taking lessons from the “life coach” and meet Jesus for the very first time….

 

Promise 7 sounds promising as well….I wonder if this will be the year Paula stops blaspheming God….or become more intimate with God’s Word and quit calling herself a pastor…so far she’s failed on both accounts.

 

Paula doesn’t tell us how we are to receive these promises…but if Paula is consistent…..and she is very consistent….money is involved….specifically your money sown into her ministry. That’s the usual deal with Paula White and her promises.

 

Common sense would say there is no way the princess could make these promises come true…..but you folks afflicted with Silly Sheeple Syndrome have thrown your common sense out the window….right along with your money…I wonder how many honestly bought into Paula’s promises?

 

Tell you what…instead of giving the princess your money every month…head on down to your local Chinese eatery….have yourself a nice meal….and get something more for your money then empty promises from an empty vessel like Paula White!

 

 

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13 thoughts on “Paula White’s Promises for 2008

  1. That “call” might mean a wedding announcement with Rick Hawkins.

    Phil: Yea….and maybe Doyle Davidson will officiate the nuptials of the match made in hell?

  2. Great comparison to the Chinese eatery….

    The people who are sure to eat this up are those who open their Bibles and use their finger to pick a verse, then rip that verse out of context and make it their horoscope for the day….and it’s all about them.

    Is there no end to the desecration?

    Phil: Excellent example my friend!

  3. That practice is called “stichomancy,” if I remember correctly. I have seen Pentecostal preachers use this… they should have been praying for guidance instead, as this practice is no where found in the Bible. That is an apt comparison to horoscoping.

    The same type of vague banality in White’s predictions are found in spiritualistic messages given by mediums from the “ascended masters.”
    I had thought that the Charismatic Renewal or Movement was a type of Pentecostal Spiritualism, and had stated so years ago. Now it is more than just a thought.

    The “coming out” statement is a most curious word play… True Prophets are pretty plain spoken, and let you know when they are speaking in similes. Thanks for the good comments and discernment.

  4. Hmmm…fortune cookie faith? This continual misuse of the Bible which men died to put into our hands is disgusting at best and damnable at worst.

  5. oh i understand this is like the tabloids only one thing its not about celebrities…no britney, no angelina….hahahahahah.
    Go ahead and bash people…be careful cause the same means by which u judge it will return to u my friend…….like quoting all these passages and dont even realize your being a hypocrite…all these people are blind…paula, creflo, kenneth are blind to you right???? So are your eyes open, sitting on ur thrown, can really see from up there….YOUR EGO..check it.

    Phil: Hi Vomit…welcome to Theology Today….do you know me? How can you call me a hypocrite Vomit? BTW…you are the hypocrite Vomit…..you tell me not to judge yet you judge me….which is typical of the biblicly illiterate crowd that follows sheisters like Paula and Creflo…..

  6. That headline sounds a LOT like “National Enquirer’s Psychic Predictions for 2008”.

  7. Please see “A Call for Discernment” by going to http://www.justinpeters.org. Justin is an evangelist and in addition to expository preaching, also holds seminars on the “Word of Faith” movement. He has cerebral palsy and concurs with the apostle Paul, “My grace is sufficient for thee.”

    To God be the glory!

    Caron Strong
    Los Angeles, CA

  8. Caron,

    Thanks for sharing this. I did visit the website and watched the demo of his presentation. I would encourage everyone here to do the same. He gives clear and concise evidence of the lies that are told and people can see and hear it with their own ears.

    Thanks again

  9. Didn’t Jesus tells us in the last days that there would be false prophets and even the elect would be deceived? Here she is!!! And deceiving millions, hook, line and sinker!!!

  10. Gee… Sounds like the same prophetic word that has been given year after year by the “prophets” of the 3rd wave.

    In fact, in my hey day as a member of the club I believe I gave the same kind of “word” around 1998 to a group in a home fellowship.

    Such freedom from all of this I have received after discovering the truth and repenting. God is indeed merciful to those who turn from this gnostic practice.

  11. Hi Tim H,

    It is refreshing to see others have walked away from this stuff. It is quite a yoke isn’t it? It’s like being in Egypt under Pharaoh.

  12. This false prophet Jezebel woman is up in God’s Judgment seat NOW and He will stop her from stealing once and for all………..in Jesus Name! AMEN! She didn’t repent so now is His time to step in and do what He has to do!!! I am SO glad!!!

  13. The den of vipers —- Huck, White, Dollar (how appropriate), Lamb, Murdock, Munsey, Copelands, Price and many more turn my stomach….it is very depressing and sad to see these shysters fooling so many people as they rob them and then live like kings themselves. Telling it like it is about these folks is not judgement but clear thinking to expose these thieves….may God have mercy on their souls.

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